The other day I had a dear friend say to me,
"Mary, something is a bit different about you this month or so, I've noticed you are a bit reserved and maybe a bit sad. I was going to ask you if everything was okay, and then I remembered that last year, you were the same way. I remembered that this is a hard time of year for you as you mourn the loss of your Mom, and Zoey, and JoyAnna. That your grief can come, as a tidal wave, or even a tsunami this time of year. I want you to know that I love you, and I see you, and that it's okay for you to feel this way. Please know that!"
You know what? First off, that made me cry. Buckets. That she shared that from her heart with me. That she "saw" me, and "saw" that there was something different about me lately. I have to say, that truly meant the world to me.
Over the years it's been hard to have a full tank of joy at certain times of year. This is one of them. I know that I have children still at home that look soooooo very forward to our small family traditions that they have come to love. Sometimes for me, it seems almost impossible to muster up the energy to do those. The village houses and all the accessories, the tree and all of the ornaments, setting up all of the manger scenes, the different advent calendars, etc. This year seemed especially hard. I think because not only am I always missing my Mom, and Zoey, and JoyAnna, but now this last year, we have had Jon launch into the airforce and then this summer, Nicole into the Navy. Don't get me wrong, these are awesome, God given roads that they have taken, for sure. As a Mom, however, I miss them here. I miss our times of watching Andy Griffith, and Gomer Pyle with Jon, as a family, and oh how we laughed and laughed. I miss watching the Chosen with Nicole, as she had already seen all 3 seasons at her Memere's home in VA last Christmas when she visited with her there. I miss Nicole's willingness to help me with all of the decorations. For the past many years, she set up the village houses, all of them, and there are a LOT!
A few weeks ago, right after Thanksgiving, Rosie said, "Mom, let's set up the village houses together. And since she is my only homeschool student this year, I answered her, "yes, Rosie, let's do that". And so I prayed and asked God for the strength to do it, and I also remembered some scripture, too.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalms 28:7
And so I put on some Christmas carols, and we went to work. As we worked side by side, I reflected on God's goodness to us, and I thanked him for my precious family he has given me, and I focused on how much He loves me, and how my strength comes from Him. I remembered the verse: "The joy of the Lord is my strength!". Nehemiah 8:10. I thanked God for Rosie who wanted to decorate with me.
It was shortly after we set out the villages and the manger scenes, and the stockings, and the advent calendars, that a customer of Glenn's called and asked if we needed a real Christmas tree. He had one from his property that his wife used some boughs from for decorating, but they didn't need the tree. Glenn responded that we'd love to have it, and the man brought it over to us that afternoon. The tree is...well....a bit scraggly, kinda like our own Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Glenn said to us, "this is a gift, a true blessing from God.", and so it is really is. And you know what, it's beautiful!! I have grown to truly love it! Take a peek! For a long time the kids have also collected nutcrackers, and so they have a place of honor under the tree. There is also a small wooden train that they love, too. On the shelf under the window, to the right, there is our wooden, kid friendly manger scene.
I also have the immense privilege of having my childhood manger scene. I have such fond memories of setting that up with my Mom as a child. It is still in tact. The ceramic people and animals have taken a bit of a beating over the years. Super glue has come in very handy. I love setting it up each year.
The village house collection has grown over the years, with the kids picking out a new house to add to it. No matter what the age, the kids have loved this tradition, and we have even helped start collections for our adult married children and their families, too.
You can also see our Christmas book collection right there. These are treasured books that are out in the month of December and a bit into the new year. Oh how the kids love to be read to from these books!!
Our advent calendars are also a big hit! The kids are always anxious to be the one to put an ornament on the tree, and this year to open a door on the Lindt chocolate advent calendar we got after Christmas last year for 2.00!! Such a treat!!
Stockings are a favorite tradition from our childhoods for sure. Glenn still has the stocking that his Mom knit for him. Just like my Mom used to do, we fill them, and then leave them on the kids' beds after they fall asleep for them to find in the morning. Sooooo much fun!
Another really special thing is a ministry that our friend Lorraine Immel Patterson and her husband do each year. After losing their own adopted child, they have committed to making a special Christmas ornament for adoptive families that have lost a child. We are so very thankful for there amazing ministry!
If you'd like to donate to their ministry, they are accepting donations: click: HERE
Here are a few other favorite ornaments others have made for us:
This ornament below is from A Mother's Rest which is a wonderful time of respite for Mom's and caregivers impacted by disability. I can't say enough good things about this ministry!
This special ornament, (the red bell) I got a set of those when I went on a whirlwind day trip to New York City with my Mom at Christmas time. It was such a blessing to me!
As I reflect on God's goodness to me, I am overcome with thanksgiving and gratitude toward Him. This has truly helped me to turn my weeping into joy, and I'm so very thankful for that!
"You have collected all my years in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8
"All things work together for good for those who love Christ Jesus and are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28
Thanking God for each of you, too!
Love in Him,
Mary
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